It's everything...

I've found a spot where the floor creaks just for me.

I sit & wait there
for the boards to collapse,
for my unannounced visit
to the neighbors.

I sit & wait
at lights, and in lines,
and in conversations
that go in circles.

I sit & wait for the music to end,
just so that I can go home.

I keep quiet as the world sleeps;
afraid to wake someone up,
afraid to sleep alone.

I've built a routine
dependent on falling apart
and still somehow manage
to be surprised

by every last bitter goodbye,
by every last haunting regret,
by every last
last word.