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we climbed the weeping wall by *YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe:



when down in god's dirt
you will remember
how to pray

or else learn
to live each moment
passing public places
where tiny towns
try
to disguise themselves as cities

seen from a distance
(inside myself)

and on the outside
the moments are bleeding
blending
blurred & semi-seen

since last we picked these pieces
from beneath skin
and stars
and seconds to catch my breath

riding the awkward line
between beauty
and its antagonist

realizing it encompasses this lifetime
©2006-2009 *YouInventedMe
:iconyouinventedme:

Author's Comments

the second piece of my missing month

----
road poem

Comments


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:iconsummersunshine26:
Wow... just beautiful. :)

--
x- Real elation is feeling you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe-x
:bounce: :clap: :D :boogie: :laughing: =p :dance: :glomp: :) :boing: :giggle:
:iconpinocchio-liez:
riding the awkward line
between beauty and it's antagonist
realizing it encompasses this lifetime


This was the perfect way to end this piece...so gritty and so much strife it seems! Brilliantly written!

--
May God help me if I ever have to use my art...:blackrose:
:iconhunnybunny09:
I like the title, very descriptive.

--
"Peace is the only battle worth waging." - Albert Camus (1913-1960)
:iconolobocanta:
this blows me away

it's really phenomenal + fluid, w/ beautiful imagery
:iconanigym6:
Lovely imagery. I really liked the last three lines...they hit home.

--
There's a fine line b/w genius & insanity...& I'm hopping right on it! :bounce:
My japanese name is 川添 Kawazoe (riverside) 歩 Ayumi (walk, deeper meaning: walk your own way). [link]
:iconsonneillon-:
I think I read this slightly different to how it was intended - the bleeding I read as being similar to the bleeding of colour...it sort of branches out on paper that's too thin. It made a nice connection with the imagery of the cities, and blurry blending image you were going for. Like many others, the last three lines are really quite perfect. Themselves make such an interesting image that it almost detracts from the rest of the poem above it. I think the last lines honestly do make this poem beautiful. The first stanza, in my opinion offers the golden platter on which the last stanza sits on.
:iconshadowknight-dragon:
Wow...this is really awesome. Lovely use of descriptive imagery! XD

--
Nothing shall forestall my return, even if the morrow is barren of promises.
:iconjiolsmolimassunemo:
*nonsensical praise*


(believes himself to be drunk after drinking such fluid poetry)
:iconmrcool256:
I had never read this one... it's beautiful man. :clap:

--
"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."- Mark Twain

Click here to go to my Facebook... don't be a stranger!
:iconin-response-to-death:
word could not describe how much i loved this
oh wait.. i think they just did [=

Details

May 7, 2006
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