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this is why we don't... by `YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


she made love
a best of
list

spilling not quite
secrets splitting
glittering seconds
for display

she been
singing those
catchy hooks
in me

coatin' that
hunger
with a
sugar tongue

but I've been
fixin'
to be broke
for a long
time
spent saving
unspoken sayings
structured letters
to grope
to choke
an open throat

something like a
closed
mindfieldday

replace the pressure
with a spray
of expelled  
syllables

EXPLODE!

scattering
a hope
that won't
stay (buried)
©2009-2010 `YouInventedMe
:iconyouinventedme:

Author's Comments

full title: this is why we don't have nice things

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icondangeroushabits:
~DangerousHabits Oct 20, 2009, 11:00:05 AM
yeah this is really good man. nice wording.

--
“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated” - Mohandas Gandhi
:iconbeaple:
~Beaple Oct 20, 2009, 11:18:40 AM
mindfield!

I fucking love it.
That's some explosive imagery.

full title: makes me lol

--
You're no scarlet prim proper rose
Sing me your pretty prose
Lips pressed nose to nose
Legs entwined with twenty toes.
:icondraecana:
~draecana Oct 20, 2009, 11:48:08 AM
replace the pressure
with a spray
of expelled
syllables

EXPLODE!

scattering
a hope
that won't
stay (buried)

i love it!

--
silent tears falling
unheard amongst the rustle
of wings come undone
:iconxtwostepfour20x:
~xTwoStepFour20x Oct 20, 2009, 12:05:47 PM
Love it. Especially,
"
but I've been
fixin'
to be broke
for a long
time
spent saving
unspoken sayings
structured letters
to grope
to choke
an open throat
"

--
"You're only a rebel from the waist downwards." -- 1984
:iconchildhoodlover:
~ChildHoodLover Oct 20, 2009, 12:09:24 PM
The amount of content found in your post revelent to my intrests was insufficient to meet my personal needs.

--
Hail Satan, my dark Lord and master.
:iconmisscatie:
~MissCatie Oct 20, 2009, 1:08:07 PM
it's amazing. =D

--
I put on my overcoat and walked into winter - my teeth chattered rhythms.
:iconleoniesaintevire:
=LeonieSainteVire Oct 20, 2009, 1:14:32 PM
As always...exceptional!

--
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."- Howard Roark
:iconstyrofoamb00ts:
~StyrofoamB00ts Oct 20, 2009, 2:02:26 PM
Is the title a take on the Day at the Fair song? Had to ask that before giving (what will most likely be a very limited) crit.

--
I showed up at his house and he opened up the door and put a gun in my face. turned out to be a nice guy, just dangerously negligent with firearms -`AxD

~DAMusicForum The proverbial go fuck yourself.
:iconthetaoofchaos:
*thetaoofchaos Oct 20, 2009, 2:11:59 PM
i love the cobblestone rhythm

:thumbsup: for the title

--
The world is an eraser for these words


- Jack Kerouac


we must destroy that which contains us
:iconsasukesadork:
~Sasukesadork Oct 20, 2009, 2:15:31 PM
i read. i like

--
on the bloody morning after, one tin soldier rides away
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