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rest area by *YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


my america's a
loss collection
an invention
a requiem
in b(urned bridge) flat

reborn in
insect-peppered
roadside sacrament
leaking dust
to color brush
creeping
climbing
hills
to frame the big empty
it gets me

thinking

pain is just
something
we live with
it ceases only
at the end
of the life
that it
begins with

and I spend
every precious
instant
(in altered states
of existence)

crossing lines
avoiding eyes
creating distance
©2009 *YouInventedMe
:iconyouinventedme:

Author's Comments

road poem

Daily Deviation

Given 2009-10-12

rest area by *YouInventedMe as the suggester colorfully notes, reads like 'it's the voice of someone who has no solid home but America's waste land, bathing in airport bathrooms and scraping what money they can to eat at fast food joints while watching their organs become display in a museum, their love like dirt under their fingernails.' The are several vivid details here not to be missed. (Suggested by *rottenpeeches and Featured by ^LadyLincoln)

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 1 1 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconslowfretboarddancer:
~SlowFretboardDancer Aug 10, 2009, 12:09:59 PM
Me loves the last stanza and these two lines:
"leaking dust
to color brush " :heart:!
:iconstarlightandpoison:
*starlightANDpoison Aug 10, 2009, 12:26:28 PM
mmm beautiful. love your use of parentheses in this one. <3

--
i believe that my life's gonna see,
the love i give return to me.
:iconbeaple:
~Beaple Aug 10, 2009, 12:34:08 PM
Those last three sections are some flowy goodness. The stresses on those "ihs" & "ens" are
int
ense

--
You're no scarlet prim proper rose
Sing me your pretty prose
Lips pressed nose to nose
Legs entwined with twenty toes.
:iconbeigegray:
~beigegray Aug 10, 2009, 12:37:16 PM
a requiem
in b(urned bridge) flat

Your so fucking witty.

crossing lines
avoiding eyes
creating distance
I love this poem. It's the first lit I've fav'd in awhile.
:+fav:

--
And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep.
--Vonnegut
:iconjenealia:
~Jenealia Aug 10, 2009, 12:48:34 PM
nice content...
let the brooding commence

--
the truth is that the lies are the reality. Connection is comprehension.
:icongedwaylem:
~gedwaylem Aug 10, 2009, 1:06:58 PM
there is nothing more true than that closing.

--
"millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy sunday afternoon." -susan ertz
:iconeternalfreedom:
~EternalFreedom Aug 10, 2009, 1:41:57 PM
beautifulbeautifulbeautiful. :heart:

--
“And if waking up alone in a car is about as good as it gets I'll know I did my best, I know I did my best to be yours.”

GG Forum
GGM
:iconavfc4me:
*avfc4me Aug 10, 2009, 2:13:30 PM
Methinks, the most deliciously ironic bit about this poem? The last three lines...in saying those things that are supposed to be kept hush-hush, the lines you cross are the ones that shouldn't be there anyway...avoiding eyes, but meeting those that are doing same, and the best part of all? Creating distance...but closing it here, in your ranks of admirers.

Another yummy. I am all admiration. Again.

--
"Ain't no normal life, Wyatt, there's just life. Go on...live it."
--Tombstone
:iconnightgrid:
*NightGrid Aug 10, 2009, 2:35:24 PM
and I spend
every precious
instant
(in altered states
of existence)

crossing lines
avoiding eyes
creating distance

ditto :blowkiss:
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