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may we be excused by *YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


tell me dear
is it distraction you dream of?
the nine-to-five daylight
wasted
dancing in the evening
on time's shallow grave?

I'll gladly grow the fiction
on which you're spoon-fed
if you'll keep quiet long enough
for the next
next
big thing
to come creeping

besides
I hear you keep your heart
everywhere
while
here
I
am
overpaying attention
just to keep my hands free

and
we're not so very far
from where we started
now
are we?

(breathe once
for yes)
©2006-2009 *YouInventedMe
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Submitted: July 28, 2006
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*Garnet-43:iconGarnet-43: Jul 28, 2006, 4:11:14 AM
A most enjoyable poem. When I read it, I imagine it read in a whispered, smiling, knowing voice. I love the way it starts, and ends. It's cynical, and, somehow, sexy.

--
“Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.”
-Moliere
~kay-d:iconkay-d: Jul 28, 2006, 4:44:20 AM
I'm not sure why I like this but I do. I read it a few times, just to take it all in. I'd say more, but I really can't. :)

--
†
Writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else.
- Gloria Steinem
:boing:
~Isis84:iconIsis84: Jul 28, 2006, 5:17:02 AM
ur poems always leave me in a speechless awe.
~kurenaiXseito:iconkurenaiXseito: Jul 28, 2006, 6:53:43 AM
You come closer to perfection than anyone I know.

"we're not so very far
from where we started"

Gorgeous.

--
purple-winged angel
standing in the rain

***

"Computer! Search for 'teeth' and 'plaque conspiracy'... ...and 'Metallica'..."
~royo05:iconroyo05: Jul 28, 2006, 7:20:47 AM
sexy!, i like your poems alot^^

--
"Use no way as way; use no limitation as limitation" -Bruce Jun Fan Lee
~poisontipped:iconpoisontipped: Jul 28, 2006, 8:09:12 AM
this is cool.
it reminds me a lot of my own style, except i don't hate this poem.
~Tacye-Marley:iconTacye-Marley: Jul 28, 2006, 11:01:11 AM
I like this, I found it really interesting

--
I account for nothing that I've done. Accounting is for accountants.
~chelsea-chic:iconchelsea-chic: Jul 28, 2006, 11:42:25 AM
this is really great.

(breathe once
for yes)

... i really love that part.
nice work! =)

--
Hi, I'm Emily.
~Kinikki-Sparx:iconKinikki-Sparx: Jul 28, 2006, 12:53:07 PM
Wow, I thought this was really amazing. It really makes you stop and think.
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