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tell
me

do you only need
the sun
you are building
to better see
what it
will burn
and

have you placed
these stars behind
glass
their gathering mass
unable to breathe
just beat
at the pane
misspelled
in your self
singing

please(d)

but not e-
nough a
backwards touch
begins to
make
and unmake and
make and
unmake
the dirt

through which you
crawl
and silently
scrawl
these secrets
tell me

tell me
tell me
tell me

do you mean it?
©2009-2010 `YouInventedMe
:iconyouinventedme:

Author's Comments

another free-write written for
:iconestallidos:

this time, in response to: [link]





the other is here: [link]

Comments


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:iconthetaoofchaos:
lovely. i got pulled into your duet.

i'm left to wonder whether

"do you only need
the sun
you are building
to better see
what it
will burn"

answers "why do you always cut off the lights before you tell me i am beautiful?"

--
The world is an eraser for these words


- Jack Kerouac


we must destroy that which contains us
:icontherapudiccaffeine:
I for some reason like the part about making and unmaking the dirt. Maybe I'll write a response later, from home. @school, atm.

--
Yes, I know I misspelled 'therapeutic' in my screen name, lol.

How come they fix the bridge after someone has already fallen?

All complicated questions have an answer that is short, sweet, and often wrong.
:iconveggierattus:
You and *estallidos both leave me feeling amazed when I read your work. I find it fitting that you would write responses to her work.

--
....and then I woke up.
:pokeball:
:iconcaroncecilia:
beautiful....love the imagery in this one...

--
~Those talked over oft times make the best writers.
---
yeah, I'm one of those "I really like this, good job!" critics. So sue me...
---

I support: =DailyLitDeviations *100ThemesChallenge ~Prompt-A-Day ~CollabLit
:iconitsxmagik:
Fantastic, really :heart:

--
make a map of what you see; direct pain effectively.
:iconsereza:
Hey! This is really different, and I really really like it. It's excellent as a song as well. :)
:iconstarlightandpoison:
<3

--
i believe that my life's gonna see,
the love i give return to me.
:iconyouinventedme:
:) thanks. we've got history, at least, on this site.

--
one half of *ZombiesAteUs
:iconyouinventedme:
depends on who you mean by we.

--
one half of *ZombiesAteUs

Details

April 27, 2009
768 bytes

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