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he was always an anxious boy by *YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


so what
if I'd bring
words to your lips
like
water from the rock
like
a shape
I can't catch
like
time (doesn't matter)

and what
if I was
a breath you mistook
when
once was enough
when
dreams are
dreamt best
when
you (started over)

and then some

"she drifted
'cross continents
and
I
finally
put a pattern
to the things
I'd been (chasing)"
©2008 *YouInventedMe
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Submitted: May 1
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Comments: 52
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Author's Comments

you're so many reasons

Devious Comments

love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

~KiwiBri:iconKiwiBri: May 1, 2008, 5:49:03 PM
Ho snap.
You hit quite a few nails on their various heads here.

I love this. I love the repetition of 'likes' and 'whens'

It makes it flow in this perfectly imperfect way.
Just like life. :)

Then again. You know that you are one of the most amazing writers about life in general already, don't you?

Congrats on another thoroughly stunning piece my good man :)

<333

--
"Where the Spirit does not Work with the Hand there is No Art" -Da Vinci
Looking for a great forum for anime & gaming? Check out neopiananime.com!
~y0urstalker:icony0urstalker: May 1, 2008, 6:12:12 PM
it makes me think of the Bridge to Terebithia... sort of.

--
Lemme say one thing real quick... and that is, "SNAFU!!!!!!!!"
*starlightANDpoison:iconstarlightANDpoison: May 1, 2008, 6:12:35 PM
your words always affect me. pretty amazing.

--
wish i had a socket-set to dismantle this morning.
and just one pair of clean socks.
and a photo of you.
~moeandcherrycoke:iconmoeandcherrycoke: May 1, 2008, 6:39:07 PM
the last stanza in particular really grabbed me.
beautifully written, as always.

--
even the garden of eden was just a big fancy cage.
~larissaroo:iconlarissaroo: May 1, 2008, 6:41:41 PM Mood: Love
This is cool! ^_^
~Reniosale:iconReniosale: May 1, 2008, 6:49:37 PM
I hate your amazingness. :P

--
~if I was crying
in the van, with my friend
it was for freedom
from myself and from the land
I made a lot of mistakes~
~cries-of-the-past:iconcries-of-the-past: May 1, 2008, 6:55:03 PM
this is stunning
and
every bit was something i wish i could have written.

--
If the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
=playacardzright:iconplayacardzright: May 1, 2008, 6:59:55 PM
:clap:

--
A GOOD MAN KEEPS AN EVEN "BETTER WOMAN", AND ONE DAY I WILL BE HER!! :blowkiss:
~be0allthatyou0envy:iconbe0allthatyou0envy: May 1, 2008, 7:03:31 PM
"and what
if I was
a breath you mistook
when
once was enough"

:clap:
:worship:

--
Darbs
~Frostypeanut:iconFrostypeanut: May 1, 2008, 8:05:37 PM
God I love you. Everything you write is perfection.

--
I cannot forget
that he can't forget her
Or that some friends just
change like the seasons...
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