Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

Open Up by *YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open




to tell
the tale
of teeth

is to
truly
believe

in the bitter truth
of roots

in the loss
when one must leave

all the
inner strength
it takes

to grace
a face
with glowing
grin

to try
to show
yourself

while the world
works
to shut
you in
©2009 *YouInventedMe
:iconyouinventedme:

Author's Comments

happy to present this collab with the wonderful
:iconmusicismylife731:

she took the photograph
and I accompanied it with the poem

you can view the original image here: [link]

(please) check out her gallery!

---
interested in collaborating?
hold that thought 'til I get caught up.

Comments


love 1 1 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconserenity74:
=serenity74 Feb 23, 2009, 12:43:53 PM
This really is very good :)

--
Even the smallest light shines in the darkness
:iconicecreamuffin:
~icecreamuffin Feb 23, 2009, 12:45:46 PM
this is wonderful, it flows really well!
the last two stanzas are my favorite :)

--
swallow purple terra candy, don't forget to breathe
sickened by the wanting and drowning from the need
so raise your glass to sorrow and drink to all the pain
tie a silver ribbon around the pieces that remain
:iconmolchansky:
~Molchansky Feb 23, 2009, 12:47:31 PM
the rhythm is so clutchy like a grind of teeth
i love it

--
sleeping is the best way to make the day go away.
when i get to the bridge i will burn it.
:iconmissunderstand:
~MissUnderstand Feb 23, 2009, 12:51:46 PM
Oooh, I like how you did this. I was questioning it at first, when I saw the photo and read "tale of teeth" I though oh dear... a poem about teeth?!
But of course you did well! How could I ever doubt you?
I like all the last 5 stanzas, you can't like one without the other. :)
To try to show yourself while the world works to shut you in... nice.

--
----
I'm not going to ask you to,
but it would be nice,
if my gallery had visit from you.
:iconmorethan-worldover:
~morethan-worldover Feb 23, 2009, 12:55:28 PM
It's lovely.

--
Einmal ist keinmal.


Dig deeper.
:iconnightgrid:
*NightGrid Feb 23, 2009, 1:01:04 PM
"to try
to show
yourself

while the world
works
to shut
you in"
:clap: clever boy!
:iconbrassteeth:
*brassteeth Feb 23, 2009, 1:03:55 PM
Nice metaphors, really clever.

--
BT.

"The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away."
— Robert M. Pirsig
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle maintanance
:iconout-of-spite:
=Out-Of-Spite Feb 23, 2009, 1:05:58 PM
:giggle:
this reminds me of The Truth is in the Tooth
and makes me think of the tooth fairy and little kids and how excited they get when they lose one
:XD:

--
~*~We Survive What We Can't Change~*~
:blackrose:Regrets are mistakes you don't learn from:blackrose:
Surrender to the Truth: [link]
Believe the Lie: [link]
:iconyouinventedme:
*YouInventedMe Feb 23, 2009, 1:17:11 PM
thanks a lot :D


xo!

--
an antique arms and armor expert
:iconyouinventedme:
*YouInventedMe Feb 23, 2009, 1:17:28 PM
:) thank ya much


xo!

--
an antique arms and armor expert
Previous Page12345...Next Page

Details

February 23
490 bytes
16.4 KB
600×360

Statistics

119
131 [who?]
1,610 (0 today)
20 (0 today)

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy