NO LONGER

I want to color my hands
blank-faced
and fortunate
(mis)fortune spent
sowing seeds until
fine

washing away all the pain
misplaced
in the rain
relinquished control
sold my soul
can't refine

bid my time then
came this momentum
meant everything
these seconds sent
a shiver
through my spine

that's when my blood ran cold
the love I used to hold
dreams receding
you kept deceiving
me until I became
too old

you told me
it was over
well before
I ever knew
what's said and done
(no longer while fun) more appropriately you blew